Life changes, children grow, and situations naturally evolve over time. Ongoing mediation gives parents a supportive way to adapt, without conflict. Decisions that once worked well may no longer feel right for you or your family, and that is entirely normal. Family mediation can be used as an ongoing tool throughout your co-parenting journey, offering a practical and constructive space to review arrangements and make changes as circumstances change, without the need to return to court.
In this blog, Sarah French, Solicitor and Family Mediator in the Family team at Scott Bailey LLP, explains how mediation can support parents through the evolving realities of co-parenting.
What is family mediation?
Family mediation is a voluntary process where an independent, trained mediator helps parents discuss and resolve issues relating to their children. The focus is on communication, problem-solving, and finding workable solutions that are in the best interests of the child.
Unlike court proceedings, mediation is flexible, confidential, and designed to reduce conflict rather than escalate it.
Using mediation to manage day-to-day parenting decisions
Family mediation is often used to address practical issues that arise as children grow, especially in their education, activities, and finances.
Ongoing mediation is a great tool for parents to meet down the line to discuss:
- Which school a child will attend
- Subject choices at GCSE or A-level
- Extracurricular activities and associated costs
- How any schooling costs will be shared (activities, trips, supplies etc.)
These discussions can be challenging, particularly if communication between parents has become strained for any reason. Mediation provides a calm and structured setting for these conversations, helping parents avoid misunderstandings that can easily arise through messaging or informal discussions.
Holidays, travel abroad and passports
As children grow, holidays and trips abroad naturally become part of family life. While consent to take a child on holiday is often given without difficulty, mediation can be a helpful forum where questions and practical details can be discussed, including:
- Where the child will be travelling
- Accommodation details
- Flight information
- Emergency contact arrangements
- Who holds the child’s passport and how it will be provided
By addressing these details in advance, mediation can prevent unnecessary conflict and last-minute disputes.
Medical decisions and parental responsibility
Decisions about a child’s health fall under parental responsibility. In most cases, both parents are expected to agree to medical treatment, particularly where the treatment is significant or ongoing.
Where disagreements arise in a co-parenting situation, the court can actually step in and decide what is in the child’s best interests. However, mediation often allows parents to address these issues much earlier, and in a less adversarial way.
Mediation can be particularly valuable where medical decisions are urgent. It is far more flexible than court processes and can often be arranged quickly to help parents reach agreement when time is critical.
Mediation and the challenges of parenting teenagers
Parenting teenagers brings a new set of challenges. As children grow older, they will naturally want more independence and may express strong views about matters such as:
- Having a mobile phone
- Walking to school alone
- Visiting friends independently
- Travelling independently
While some earlier parenting decisions may naturally fall away, new ones often take their place. Many of the decisions parents face during initial mediation sessions are addressed early on, but it is less common for later-life decisions to have been anticipated at that stage. Ongoing mediation is therefore a valuable tool, helping parents maintain a united approach, reduce the risk of mixed messages, and avoid children feeling caught between them.
Booking in a mediation appointment to discuss these new issues almost always prevents them from developing into more serious disputes later on.
Parenting plans and review clauses
When parents create a parenting plan through mediation, it is often sensible to include review clauses. While this may sound formal, it simply means agreeing to revisit arrangements at set intervals to check whether they are still working.
Reviews might be scheduled every year, every few years, or at key stages in a child’s life. Parents can also return to mediation sooner if circumstances change unexpectedly.
Viewing mediation as an ongoing option, rather than a one-off process, is a strength. It helps families adapt constructively as life evolves.
A flexible and future-focused approach to co-parenting
Life is unpredictable. Changes can be positive or challenging, planned or unexpected. Family mediation provides parents with a practical mechanism for coming back together to resolve issues sensibly, amicably, and often urgently.
Research consistently shows that it is parental conflict, rather than separation itself, that is most damaging to children. By choosing mediation and building it into your co-parenting arrangements, you are actively future-proofing your family.
Can I book an emergency family mediation session to resolve a family dispute?
If both parents agree that a mediation session is needed urgently, our team of accredited family mediators at Scott Bailey will always do everything they can to accommodate that, supporting you and your family when it matters most. You can book mediation at our offices in Lymington and Lyndhurst, or we can offer appointments over video call if that’s more appropriate.
Frequently asked questions
Can I take my child abroad without their mother or father’s permission?
If both parents have parental responsibility, consent is usually required from everyone with parental responsibility before a child can be taken abroad, even for a holiday.
There are limited exceptions. For example, a parent who has a Child Arrangements Order stating that the child lives with them may take the child abroad for up to 28 days without the other parent’s consent, unless the court order says otherwise.
If consent is not given and a parent takes a child abroad without permission, this can amount to child abduction under UK law, even if the trip is intended to be temporary. Where agreement cannot be reached, parents can seek permission from the court, but mediation is often used first to try to resolve the issue constructively and avoid escalation.
Can a parent withhold a child’s passport, and is it illegal?
Withholding your child’s passport unreasonably may cause legal difficulties, particularly where it prevents agreed or reasonable travel arrangements.
A child’s passport does not legally belong to either parent. It belongs to the child. Where one parent refuses to release the passport without good reason, this may be viewed as obstructive, especially if there is no safeguarding concern.
Withholding a passport is not automatically a criminal offence, but it can become a legal issue if it forms part of a wider dispute about parental responsibility or contact. In some cases, the court may order that the passport be released, held by a neutral third party, or subject to specific conditions.
Family mediation can be a helpful way to resolve passport disputes by agreeing when and how the passport is held, how much notice is required for travel, and what information should be shared in advance, reducing the risk of future conflict.
Is family mediation legally binding?
Family mediation itself is not legally binding. Agreements reached in mediation are usually recorded in a document such as a parenting plan or a memorandum of understanding.
However, mediation outcomes can be made legally binding if both participants wish. This is typically done by asking a solicitor to convert the agreement into a consent order, which can then be approved by the court.
Many parents value mediation precisely because it allows flexibility to take account of a child’s changing needs and routines. Arrangements can evolve over time without being locked into a rigid court order. If financial matters have been agreed through mediation these will always need to be drafted into a consent order and approved by a Judge to become binding.
Get in touch today
Click here to find out more about our family mediation services in Hampshire. To talk with one of our expert solicitors about an ongoing mediation session, or to book in an emergency appointment, please get in touch today.
